Lately, the concept of self-love has been given a lot of importance, due to the weight that social networks are having in our society. But what is self love? Why does it affect us so much? How can we cultivate it?
What is self love?
Self love is the relationship we have with ourselves. It is everything we think and feel about ourselves. It is the self-assessment you make of yourself. Concepts such as self-esteem, insecurity... are linked to self-love.
Self love is accepting our bad things and our good things. It is accepting ourselves as we are without worrying about what they will say or being less than other people.
A person who values himself in a negative or pessimistic way is that he lacks self-esteem or has low self-esteem, on the other hand, if he has a very optimistic vision of himself or his concept of self, it is that he is the center of the universe, he is a person with too much self-esteem, which can also lead to problems and insecurities.
The ideal is balance, like everything in life, neither black nor white, to have balanced self-esteem or self-esteem.
It should be noted that in the current society in which we live, the problem lies in the lack of self-esteem and self-esteem, which is what we are going to deal with mostly in this article.
Problems of lack of self-love
There are many problems due to the lack of self-love, from physical to emotional. Most are linked to a lack of self-esteem, excessive concern about what they will say, insecurities or the way of relating to others. In any case, currently, unlike years ago, most people see a psychologist, not because they have problems, but because in the society in which we live we are increasingly exposed to changes, contradictions and situations that can have a more negative effect on us. Here we present information about self-love, but the best thing if you want to understand them better is to attend therapy.
- Problems when meeting new people: shyness, social problems, not being able to trust others...
- Passive lifestyle: Having neither goals nor challenges
- Difficulties in life: Being afraid of assuming responsibilities
- Greater predisposition to develop anxiety or depression
- insecurity in relationships
- Problems towards your physique that is affected in food, sports...
How to increase self-love: increase your self-esteem
What motivates you? Where do you want to go?
It is essential to know that we evaluate badly about ourselves in order to treat it. For example, if you haven't finished your university degree, it can affect us because of the society we live in, because of what our parents expect of us, because of the friends we have... once you have identified why it affects you. You have to think about what to do so that it does not affect you. That is, following the same example. What do you want at work level? Do you want to have a university degree or start a project? Perhaps what others have is not useful to you. You have to know what your goals and objectives are to get rid of guilt and regret and live how you want to live, not how others want you to live or be.
2. What do I have now? Reflect on what you have achieved and where you have arrived
Most of the time we think more about the negative things than the positive. We think more about what we do not have or what we have not been able to achieve than what we have achieved. Thinking about the challenges and goals that we have already assumed is essential to increase our self-esteem. Many times we tend to belittle our merits by comparing them to those of others or even to those we want to achieve. You have to start looking at what you have, where you have arrived and how you have evolved and you will realize that you are perfectly capable of achieving what you propose but with patience, which is currently in short supply.
3. Goodbye insecurities
If there is something we feel insecure about, we can transform it into a reason to improve. For example, if we feel insecure, when it comes to meeting new people, we must see it as an opportunity to gradually improve it, it is to change our thinking and have a constructive mentality. You have to think that all of us have insecurities and these can manifest themselves in very different ways, we can feel insecure with our body, insecure when it comes to meeting people, insecure when doing a job, insecure when facing a problem .... if we manage to see what is a problem for us or what is forbidden to us as an opportunity for growth that we are going to assume little by little, that insecurity will be transformed into goals.
4. Goals: medium and long term
goals and objectives are a good indicator to show ourselves that we are worth. You have to set medium and long-term goals, especially realistic ones, in order to achieve them and increase our self-esteem.
5. The importance of the people you surround yourself with
"Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are" It is very important to surround ourselves with people who appreciate us, take care of us and care about us, just as we care about them. The people you hang out with, friends... normally have a lot of influence on your way of being, either for better or for worse. It is very important to surround ourselves with people who raise our morale and self-esteem, who add to us, not subtract from us.
Self-love is in charge of us not giving a damn what others say about us , if we know that it is a constructive criticism, then we listen to it, but if not, we continue with our lives, because self-love is that, love towards oneself. And if you love yourself, what they say or don't say about you doesn't matter. In the end, you are the only love of your own life, so if you like to dress one way, dance one way, laugh one way... and society doesn't accept it or someone tells you something, you know. .. that they be envious but envy of the self-love that you have for yourself!